Category: Cooking

I do not usually post personal details, but as no one else reads this (no comments ever!), it is ok. Tomorrow my children and grandchildren are coming to visit – basically a treat for my 71st birthday last Tuesday. Last year we all went for a meal in Bruton which was nice and they offered to pay but I could not let them do that. This year I think Tams wanted to book a restaurant in Bristol on the harbour which I am sure would be nice. Nice is not a nice word! When Maz and Erin and Ads came up recently we went to the Railway Inn, in Sandford owned by Thatchers, but I was not impressed. So I suggested to Martin that I would rather give them £50 each for the,m to bring some food together. I am not particularly mean or tight, but the thought of £300 on a mediocre meal was not entertaining.

However my idea, which they have adopted, is fraught with difficulties. Firstly I am not tidy! So I have spent time clearing the patio (where the table and surrounds was covered in plants with weeds between the paving slabs! The kitchen is cluttered – I am going to have to empty the cupboards so I can hide things (I should have said ‘put things away’ but that is as likely as me voting for for one of the right wing clowns (Is Coulrophobia a result of fear of people like Farage and Johnson who both look and behave like evil clowns!). And then there is the table which is a horizontal book shelf! With candles, scissors, fruit and jars of nuts (edible) for some reason. I have had a clear out of the fridge – well a half hearted one – the mouldy lettuce at the back and the liquid cucumber have been deposed of! But jars of homemade jam and pickles and chutney were reprieved! So it will just loook untidy and I will laim that I forgot to tidy up – despite having spent a few hours attempting to! Oh well – It is my birthday celebration!

I also went to Waitrose to get some burgers and sausages (for 10 people)- big mistake – £180+ later I have to find space to put stuff away! Why so much? Well there were vegan sausages and burgers and vegan ice cream, and fruit and olives and lemonade and wine! Ah wine. And Holly cannot have sausages or burgers so I got some chicken and lamb. I stopped all alcohol 9 months ago, but what with giving up smoking 4 years ago, it seems like a bit too boring! So I will have a practice bottle today and a glass or two tomorrow – to be sociable. What else was there to add up to £180? BBQ tongs as last ones were a bit! rusty, then ice creams for the muggles, some cheese – I guess it all adds up – still it will be a lot better than paying out for a mediocre meal. And it gives me more time with them all!

I have also been told by Kate in the shop to ensure that we have a group photo of the family – we are not that sort of family but I guess it would be nice. If they ever need a control model of a human who has had no physical contact with another human – I am the man. I mentioned this to Holly a couple of years ago and Tams last year, and they both gave me a hug, but otherwise they are the only people to have touched me this decade.

I just hope they all get here before mid-day – I want to spend some time with them as I feel like a shitty granddad most of the time. And the grandchildren are all amazing.

Enough of that – I am a bit bored of the election. Can we fast forward 5 weeks? Basically there is fuck all happening with all sides hoping for the other to blunder – fortunately the bonsai PM is happy to oblige. In fact he is really pissing me off more than usual. Flitting around in his fucking helicopter when not posing for photoshoots by a train. Does he have relatives in Delhi? The team there is above 50C and people are dying – time to get the climate change agenda into the frontal of peoples brains. This is an issue that is not sexy, and is dismissed by many as being less important than the cost of living crisis, but I believe that the majority of peole do give a shit about it! Only those who should not be allowed scissors still deny it.

The garden is begining to look good – rose bushes growing and the mints thriving. Tomato plant with one tomato now has 2 but still green!. Wild strawberries for the forage effort are good and raspberries will be ripe in about a week I think. Flame lily now head height, no flowers on mulberry again though. Actually there are loads of roses and I hope the kids pick some to take home.

I will make a poulis tonight but will save cake making for tomorrow – something to do whilst waiting! It will be a lemon drizzle and maybe a date cookie with nuts.