This is a rewrite from yesterdays Guardian ‘Pass Notes’. Written as Tesco executives.
Down the pub with some mates talking about what to get Dave and Lindsay for their wedding. “I bet he is shitting himself, and she is in a right sweat organising everything – ‘he is useless unless it involves kicking a round ball about’. Light bulb moment! “We know they have a massive mortgage and her being pregnant means a lack of the readies”. “Why not get them a practical box – we could start with a five pack of toilet paper and shower gel”. The others add their ideas. 2 tubes of toothpaste (one each; bin bags for his kit; conditioner (come on guys, girls have long hair and care about it!); kitchen rolls for the mess he makes and some hand wash for her after retrieving his undies from under the bed! Cool – I will price it up and add an extra £10 as it is for a wedding – maybe add a bow or something, and gift wrap! £63 sounds reasonable for such a useful wedding gift! Oh and “A toast to love package’ we could do a series from champers, to prosciutto and a bargain one for the pregnant or nutters – £39 for 6 packets of biscuits and some tea!
I am not kidding – these things are on offer at Tesco, although a search of their website was fruitless! But then I found this! https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/bills/article-14727001/Tesco-launches-wedding-gift-registry-couples-ditch-fine-china-toilet-roll-bin-bags.html