Ok a simple drive into Bristol from Sandford. I am keeping to the speed limit at all times. But then in big letters painted on the road it says slow. Should I brake, if it is a 50mph speed limit should I go at 50mph or 40mph – what is slow? 5mph? (unless you are a tortoise? In which case it would be Olympic standard!). So feeling well confused I come down to Barrow Gurney. Now here we have an interesting set of traffic lights – well actually lots, at normal level nd at higher level too (I know it his near Bristol Airport but is this really necessary? But OK safety first, I am ok with that. But what the F***? There is a sign that says ‘traffic lights’! Thank f*** for that, I thought it Was a flying saucer or maybe I had bee4n transported into a computer game! On which, on the motorway there are those huge signs that tell you variable things about the road – never anything interesting like ‘Did you know Anne Boleyn had 3 nipples”. How about it Road Agency or whatever your new name is – make us smile. But back to the signs, they look like the flippers on old pinball machines? Do you think that one night they will start pinging cars around the motorway system with them? I did hear a rumour that the police would play billiards by stopping different coloured cars? Unfortunately probably not true (I would have done! Tales from parents evenings another time!).
Back to roads. Driving towards Bath, lovely countryside then in the middle of the road a painted sign saying ‘Bend’. ‘Well fu*k me I thought the road went straight through that hedge”. Its not like there is a sudden 90 degree bend or anything dangerous. And then the signs with a deer on them. Interesting, it is a bit like going back to my childhood with observer books – tick when you have seen the sign. But deer? I know that hitting a deer has killed people, and even a minor scrape can cause massive damage to both deer and car. But the sign – what am I supposed to do? Get my camera ready? Slow right down although the sign 100m back said 50mph? Look out for road kill?
And smart motorways – what is that all about? They let people drive on the hard shoulder and occasionally kill others. I am not sure what is smart about it. A long time ago I heard someone suggest that there should be a dedicated lane, separated, just for lorries – they could then use smart technology to regulate distance from the lorry in front for optimum efficiency? wow I am such an effing genius – they could put rails on them and call them railways!!! And I am actually being a bit serious here, but at the moment lorries transport everything around, which also means lots of people moving around spreading virus and the diseases. With a train – it is loaded by a group of people, and then has a little or long journey perhaps through pretty countryside, and then comes to a station or depot where it is unloaded by people local to there.
We could have major movements on the main train lines, and then develop tram like vehicles for distribution within cities, and electric lorries for further distribution.
Back to topic. Pelican crossings or whatever they are called. Why do they need to have green light showing all night. It would be a sad person who waited for a couple of hours for a car to come along before pushing the button to make them stop! Haahaa – maybe I should set the alarm and give it a go – not too keen on getting my head kicked in though! I came close to that when driving through the village at 9am on Saturday morning. I was keeping to the speed limit but someone wanted to overtake so I indicated right! I did this a couple of times! He then stopped in front of me – I locked the doors! He then drove off. I hope he was not in some sort of emergency! If so sorry!
And finally. The other morning a guy drove to the shop, sun glasses on top of head despite it still being dark, but no mask – TWAT!