If you go down in the sea today, you’d better go in disguise
For every turd that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today’s the day water companies issue their profits
Every child who’s ever been good is sure of a treat today
There’s lots of floating things to eat and wonderful diseases to catch
Beneath the waves where nobody sees
They’ll hide and seek as long as they please
That’s the way the water companies have their picnic
Picnic time for holiday makers
The little children are having a lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them share the sea on their holiday
See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares
At six o’clock their mummies and daddies
Will take them back home to bed
and treat the vomit and shits that come about
If you go down in the sea today, you’d better not go alone
It’s lovely down in the sea today, but safer to stay at home
For every turd that ever there was
Will gather there for certain because
Today’s the day the rich cats have their picnic